The Future of Motherhood

Eph 5:21 - 6:4

21 ¶ submitting to one another in the fear of God.

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

1 ¶ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

2 "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise:

3 "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Preached at FBC Toulon, IL on May 20, 2001 by Albert Harmon


Last week we brought a message from verses 15-17 of Eph. 5. There Paul tells them not to be foolish but to understand what the will of the Lord is. He then covers a couple of items and then goes right on to relationships in the family. I often hear people speak of the Scripture not relating to them. Well this passage relates to husbands, wives and children. I think that takes us all in one way or another.

If there is an area where Christians need to know the will of the Lord, it is in relationships in families. Christians for the most part have bought into the world's wisdom when it comes to family relationships.

I think that is one of the hindrances to the growth of the church. The world looks at the Christian community and sees them struggle and fall in the same areas at non-Christians. There is not a strong enough witness among Christians to create a desire among the lost to become Christians.

One of the areas that is under the most persuasive attack today in the family is that of the mother and wife. Many girls grow up without the example of what a mother and wife should be. They watch the TV were anything but a normal family is normal. They decide they will become a mother, or worse they become pregnant without first deciding to a mother. But as one person said, "The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes one a mother-which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician." Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)

Now I will preface all of this message by saying that nothing is said to condemn anyone or to accuse you of the mistakes you have made in the past. But admitting our mistakes and understanding why we went wrong is indispensable to heading in the right direction.

  1. As God Intended
    1. Wives
      1. Now some people will hear this message and think that I want to set back the women's movement 100 years, but that is not true.
        1. I do not want to go back to any date for each age has been in error in the position of women in the family and society.
        2. I want to go back to the Bible.
        3. Remember, we do not want to be foolish but to know what the will of the Lord is.
      2. God created men and women for different roles in the marriage.
      3. He never intended for them to switch roles or for them to think they did not need the other.
      4. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. V-22
    2. Husbands
      1. Are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.
        1. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
        2. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
        3. In other words, a Christian husband needs to subordinate his needs to hers, John F. MacArthur, Jr. (1997). The MacArthur Study Bible.
      2. They are to be faithful to that wife. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
        1. Do you notice that it does not say they three shall be one flesh.
        2. It is almost self evident yet Paul feels he must remind them of the Lord's will for their families.
        3. Paul knew that some would say boys will be boys and we kind of have a mind set that men will wander.
        4. Some teach that evolution has made man to desire to have sex with as many women as possible.
        5. I hear some talk show host excusing the sexual misconduct of men by saying that is way they have evolved.
        6. Well I have seen some dogs who had more respect for the opposite sex then some men.
        7. But then I think that is just foolish, shall we sow and not reap.
        8. Gal 6:7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.
        9. Shall we play the part of the fool and not be found out.
        10. Proverbs 6:32 Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul.
        11. In the Old Testament those guilty of such a heinous crime were dispensed to death.
        12. Lev 20:10'The man who commits adultery with another man's wife, he who commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress, shall surely be put to death.
      3. Peter said that husbands are to honor their wives; 1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
      4. And then the husbands are to build up their wives.
        1. Jesus is building His church.
        2. He is cleansing and purifying it.
        3. Don't be like the husband who went to the pastor to complain about his wife and listed fault after fault. Finally the pastor asked why then did he marry her. The man said that she was not that way when they got married. The pastor then said, "Oh so you have made her that way."
      5. You see many men want to be the head of the house without any of the responsibilities.
      6. The ten cow wife. There was a farmer in Hawaii who had three daughters. He had successfully married off the older two. They were attractive, but his third daughter was not. He thought that he would never marry her to anyone. But he was wrong. There was a very rich farmer who lived in the next valley and his son wanted to marry his daughter. Now the custom was that when you married a man's daughter that you gave him a number of cattle. Three to four were considered to be from customary to outstanding. But the father had not thought that he would get any thing for this youngest daughter. But now that the richest farmer's son in the area was coming to call he began to say to himself. Well maybe he will bring at least one cow. And as he thought and began to imagine, he thought that he might even get the going rate of three or even four or five. Well the day of the wedding came and when the groom showed up he did not have one cow or three cows or five cows but ten cows. The father of the bride was ecstatic to get ten cows for a one cow daughter was truly a great fortune. Time passed and a year or so later the daughter came back to see her father and he was amazed. He could not believe that this was the same daughter. She was beautiful, graceful, knowledgeable and simply amazed her father. The father got his son-in-law aside and accuse him of cheating him for only giving ten cows for such a wonderful wife. What is the moral of the story. If you think of your wife as a ten cow wife then she will be a ten cow wife. People have a habit of living up to expectations, either theirs or other's.
    3. Children
      1. Are to obey
        1. 1 ¶ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
      2. They are to honor father and mother
        1. 2 "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: 3 "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."
  2. Things That Threaten Motherhood
    1. Social re-constructionist
      1. People are working to make our society a uni-sex society.
      2. They think that you should not buy dolls for girls and tractors and trucks for boys.
    2. Abortion
      1. Premarital sex was what parents worried about in my day.
      2. Today it is that people will have casual sex and that with multiple partners never intending on having a monogamous relationship.
      3. And our media portrays this as normal and without any consequences such as pregnancy or STDs.
    3. Divorce
      1. Remember that I said that Christians do not show much difference from non-Christians.
        1. The divorce rate is about the same for both.
        2. Divorce is so ramped in this country some kids need to carry papers to keep track of all their parents and grandparents.
        3. Now I am not attacking anyone, I just want us all to know that God hates divorce. Malachi 2:16 "For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," Says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously."
      2. It is because we are not committed.
        1. We do not mean til death do us part but until I get tired or find something new or better.
      3. It is also because we live in a society that is given over to immorality.
      4. And in our zeal to not be condemning we have left no place for shame in divorce.
    4. Single Parenting
      1. Another great threat to motherhood is single parenting.
        1. No this is not about when one parent dies and leaves a family
        2. This is about young men, if we can use that term who live out the sitcom and think it is their job to get every woman pregnant they can.
        3. Thank goodness, I think we see this more in the cities than we do here in Stark county.
      2. The state's solution to this is give us your kids and we will pay someone more than you make to take care of them.
    5. No Example for Children
      1. We have left the children to discern for themselves how they will fulfill family relationships.
      2. Families are so fragmented that the children do not know how to respond properly.
      3. There are some things that must be learned by experience and not by instruction.
      4. Parents will instill in their children by their conduct what life and family are all about.
  3. Let us take one glimpse of motherhood at its greatest.
    1. Years ago, a young mother was making her way across the hills of South Wales, carrying her tiny baby in her arms, when she was overtaken by a blinding blizzard. She never reached her destination and when the blizzard had subsided her body was found by searchers beneath a mound of snow. But they discovered that before her death, she had taken off all her outer clothing and wrapped it about her baby. When they unwrapped the child, to their great surprise and joy, they found he was alive and well. She had mounded her body over his and given her life for her child, proving the depths of her mother love. Years later that child, David Lloyd George, grown to manhood, became prime minister of Great Britain, and, without a doubt, one of England's greatest statesmen.

--James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988), p. 375.

Motherhood is a God given role. Some of the most sublime passages in the Bible concerning human relationships deal with mothers. Mothers have a tremendous role in the family. As one man said, evolution can't be true for mothers still only have two hands.

I thank God for my mother and all she did for me and instilled in me. And I thank God for such a wonderful wife. Today I honor both of them, praise God for them. Without godly mothers there is no hope for our nation. Godly mothers have always been the moral guide in our society. Pray that God would grant us Godly mothers and fathers to guide the next generation.


This message was preached at FBC Toulon, by Albert Harmon. See it at